Coming out early

[Tony]

Perhaps I'm a fundamentalist but I'm not really interested in having a sexual relationship with a woman if she won't pee for me. It would be a bit like having a girlfriend who wouldn't talk to me.

Because of this, I always try to bring up the subject as early as possible but I do it indirectly. An hour or so into a first date I will ask her if she needs to pee and note her reaction. Very often she will say "it's none of your business" or "don't treat me like a child" and I usually take these as a "no" and don't pursue the relationship.

How do other men and women feel about this?

[ December 09, 2001: Message edited by: Tony ]</p>

[parkvilla]

Well, I reckon that some of the replies you are effectively writing off from day one might just be purely defensive - although I love pants wetting, were I to have been asked the question on an early date, I might also have replied in the same defensive vein. I think you need to get to know and trust someone before that person is prepared to offer a more honest response to you.

[parkvilla]

Well, at a first or early date, any response you are likely to get might just be purely defensive. The other person might also be nervous etc. You need to get to know and trust someone before that person is willing/able to confide more open and honest answers, particularly with a subject like pants wetting.

Try turning the tables.... how would you respond if someone you really fancied asked you a similar question on a first date, and you were nervous? I suggest you give it more time and careful thought/timing!

[Larry Lamb]

Yeah, I reckon you are being WAY too premature and also putting far too much emphasis on what is after all a fetish. Any relationship is gonna involve compromise and to be so deifinitive so early will just lose you some good relationship opportunities.

IMO.

[Finesse]

Hi.

First I have a question, haven´t you ever fell in love? I mean really fell in love and not thinking about sex, just being near her is enough for you to feel all wonderful? I mean before it actually goes to a relationship, you just love her and dont think about the future so much?

Personally it donesnt matter if my partner would like it or not, I wouldnt choose to have a relationship with somebody just becasue they like the same thing. I mean the most important thing is that you love each other....

Then I cant imagine somebody actually telling you what they like on a first date. Some maybe would, hope you are lucky. But what if somebody would be interested, but thinks it is non of your business on a first date or just dont see the connection, they maybe just think "what kind of question is that on a date" and snapp you of, and you wont date her anymore, when maybe she would be a woman who liked it or more possible at least would try it for your sake?

All people would react differently, whether they could think about doing it for you or not, or if they would like it or not. I dont think you can judge it after 1 date.

Well, thats my thoughts.

Hugs
Finesse

[Tony]

Hi Finesse.

Yes I have been in love many times but I can't love a woman unless I'm sexually attracted to her and I'm not sexually attracted to her unless she will pee for me. This will probably shock a lot of people but it's just the way I am. Perhaps it's because I have Asperger syndrome.

[hawkeye1]

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Tony:
Perhaps I'm a fundamentalist but I'm not really interested in having a sexual relationship with a woman if she won't pee for me...

...Because of this, I always try to bring up the subject as early as possible but I do it indirectly...<hr></blockquote>

Dear Tony!

I think that SPV, Larry and Finesse are right. Bringing up the peeing stuff at your first date the girls will be thunderstruck. I think that they even may find it offensive and that this date was not only the first but also the last one. Acting that way you will miss a lot of relationships that might grow pleasant for the both of you. I think that you are very young and you have many attempts left but perhaps you will be more successful if you spend more time on bringing up these very private things.

Cheers

hawkeye

[Tony]

Dear hawkeye,

No, I'm not very young, I'm 53!

[hawkeye1]

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Tony:
Dear hawkeye,

No, I'm not very young, I'm 53!<hr></blockquote>

Dear Tony!

Thank you very much for your information. Being 53 you will have some experience with girls wetting themselves. I don't think that you have ever been refused and therefore you perhaps may have some stories to tell. I'm looking forward to hearing more from you.

Cheers

hawkeye

[Anonymous]

Tony,

Well, I got lucky. In high school (about 2 yr before you were in HS) my 3rd date was a fundamentalist. One day after school she invited me in while her guardian was at work. She took me to the bathroom, pulled up her skirt, pulled down her panties, & peed! Phoned her a few months back. She's still a fundamentalist & without saying a word, went to the bathroom & peed so I could hear her.

Couldn't have made it happen if I'd worked like crazy for it. The more she & I pray for eachother's well being, the more these things just happen between us without saying much of anything.

Is it because we talk to God? Don't know. Wish I could give you the formula, but it just happens.

May God bring you love.

Stanley

[Anonymous]

Bieng 53 is part of the problem. The younger generation is much more open to peeing as an unembarrising thing then the women you are dating. An older women is comfortable in her body and who she is and thus how and if she wants to discuss her bladder needs.
I would suggest for the first few dates just observe her does she excuse herself how she phrases it,how long does she hold etc.

[Anonymous]

Tony,

Sorry I misread your post. Last time I checked, Patches still had my story posted on her board.

My friend told her husband about our high-school antics. He doesn't seem interested. Just tells her not to take me with her to the bathroom.

Stanley

[Tony]

Stanley,

I seem to be causing a lot of confusion here. When I said I was a fundamentalist, I didn't mean a Christian fundamentalist, I meant a watersports fundamentalist.

Nevertheless, I'm very interested to hear your story.

[Tony]

Hawkeye,

Sorry, but there isn't much to tell. I've never seen a woman wet herself and I've only twice seen women peeing.

[Finesse]

Hi Tony!

I guess everyone is different, and thats a good thing images/smiles/icon_smile.gif
I mean what is right for me is wrong for you and the other way around, and of course I am not shocked images/smiles/icon_smile.gif
I just find it a little bit strange when I see it from my own feelings, but its cool, everyone is different. I was just curious about it.

Hugs
Finesse

[Tony]

Thanks Finesse. Glad you're not shocked.
xxxx
Tony.