How To Tell Your Girlfriend About Your Fetish

[bobbyjo]

Its a big moment and it could turn out to be very special for the both of you. Like asking her to marry you. Its not something you should share over a cup of tea, or whilst peeling the potatoes. This is something special, to treasure forever. The day you tell your girlfriend about your fetish.

Take her out for a meal. Somewhere classy. A top restaurant. Nothing but the best. She'll remember this day for the rest of her life. Let her see from your voice and your body language that this is the night you will tell her something special about you.

As you enjoy your meal, carefully choose your moment to tell her... Look her right in the eyes,, remain silent for a couple of seconds, and then say it gently and passionately: "I'm really into wee-wee!"

Watch as her eyes glaze over and she is beautifully stunned by your statement... and carry on ... "I'd love for you to completely soak your knickers in your own urine. To feel the warmth of your hot piss, as it floods into your panties, and soaks your crotch and bum."

Trust me, by this point she'll be staring at you speechless and mesmerised by the words. Seize the moment, and carry on in full flow.
"I love to watch the wet patch form on your sexy crotch as you absolutely soak your tight jeans."
Still she'll be speechless, trust me. Savour that look on her face as you tell her the words.. "i want to watch the wee dribble through your sopping wet panties and down the insides of your legs."

As she takes a sip from the expensive wine you ordered, tell her "I'd love to drink your hot piss, as it spills through your knickers"

At this point, I tend to find that generally the girl will have a friend that she's suddenly remembered is going through a bad time, and so she's really sorry but she has to leave now to be with her friend. This is unfortunate, but you know that you still got to share that special moment.

As she walks away from the table, still in shock from the beauty of your words, shout a pleasant reminder across the restaurant to her... For instance "I'd love to bathe in a pool of your hot urine". And then watch the added spring in her step as she leaves.

Another great thing about this is that sometimes the waiter will hear you say this, and clearly be touched by you sharing the beauty of your fetish..... and so he will let you leave without paying for the meal, telling you to "just go!"


ps) i'm single

[Ger]

... and I'm afraid that you will stay single or at least without a wetting girlfriend if you really do what you wrote above...

Ger.

[Ape]

LOL.

Ger, I think he is taking the piss, not being serious! I found it hysterically funny, more like a sketch from a comedy show!

[~*~ k a t e ~*~]

bobbyjo, that was brilliant.


shout a pleasant reminder across the restaurant to her... For instance "I'd love to bathe in a pool of your hot urine". And then watch the added spring in her step as she leaves.

Totally brilliant.

[Adrian]

I think Ger is right though!

[Val]

I can just imagine this as one of the funnier post-'alternative' comedians. Brill stuff :P (One the saubject of comedians, belated commiserations to all fellow Dave Allen fans. I never got to see him live but some friends who did told me the warm-up was absolutely filthy :D

[Holly]

Hi,

:lol: This has got to be one of the funniest posts I 've ever read on this Board. I wonder who Bobby Jo is.....is he one of the regulars under an alais or somebody new? I notice Indi hasn't replied!! :wink:

I'm really tempted to have a go at a derivative "How to tell your boyfriend about your fetish" but I'm not sure I could ever write something to the same standard of comic genius! I like the way it pokes fun at some of the discussions on this Board as well.

In short I loved it :lol: 8)

[Crazyhorse]

I just thought it was a original idea for getting free restaurant dinners.

It may catch on, especially with the current craze for squeezing tables close together so that everyone can hear everyone elses conversation.

[Aaron]

bobbyjo that has got to be one of the funniest things that I have heard on this board. Especially effective because at first I was convinced you were serious.

[Holly]

If you are a fan of the BBC series The Office, you will know what I am thinking if I say I could see this being played by the characters in The Office, written by Ricky Gervais.

In my mind this could be perfect scene between Tim and Dawn! :lol:

Holly x :wink: :lol:

[bobbyjo]

Thanks Holly, Kate and all!

I am kinda new to this board. And I have no other aliases on here, dont worry!

Keeping on topic, when you tell your fetish to your girl, its a sweet and touching idea to give an appropriate greetings card to her, to mark the special occasion... but don't use Hallmark Cards...they LIE when they say they have "cards for all occasions"...they don't!!!!!!!.... it was the same when my friend's dog died in a powerboating accident, and i wanted to get an appropriate sympathy card.

The best idea, in fact, and more 'from the heart', is to make your own card for her like I did.

On the front of the card, get a photo of her looking nice, and then, using a light yellow crayon, add some detail to the crotch area and the top of one of the legs.

Inside, you can write a personal rhyme to celebrate the occasion such as...

It's time to tell you my fetish.
I'd like to see you wettish.
To hear the hiss
As your pants fill with piss.
I also quite like lettuce.

For an added personal touch, sprinkle the envelope with urine.

[~*~ k a t e ~*~]

bobbyjo is my sort of chap...

[bspider]

One of the best limericks I've read in ages!

Boris.

[Val]

The Lettuce was particularly poignant.

[Indigo]

Hiya Holly.

Nothing to do with me. I have difficulty enough remembering ONE password. The idea of trying to remember two or more (and link each one to the correct alias) doesn't exactly excite me, ya know?

Bobbyjo - you're definitely one of a kind. I love your sense of fun!

[bobbyjo]

hehe tim and dawn scenes from the office are hilarious...

however none of this is as funny as the guy i found posting on the wetset message board called "urine love" hahahahaha genius!!!!

[Val]

Reminds me of a graffitto from a couple of years ago that read something like 'European Uro - Europe pissing on you'.

[bobbyjo]

yes. i've just finished reading the famous "My Secret Garden" by Nancy Friday.. yep, thats the book where women tell their secret sexual fantasies...when it was first published, this was something that was very taboo.... in the whole book, there is only one lady contributor who is classed as a fetishist...she says:

"I am what is known as a urologenic. It stimulates me to see men, women, children, or animals urinating uncontrollably. Every time I think about someone trying to 'hold back' a little bit longer and then not being able to make it to the bathroom, I get very excited."

Interesting. I reckon she was quite possibly the first person to admit in print that they have the fetish.

[Holly]

. Every time I think about someone trying to 'hold back' a little bit longer and then not being able to make it to the bathroom, I get very excited."

I can really identify with that! I like seeing someone else being desperate and it excites me. Usually I go "Oooh.... do you really"!! :lol:

Holly x :? :wink:

[Aaron]

I think that there is a sequel to My Secret Garden with some urologenic references in as well.

[bobbyjo]

yes i believe there is Aaron,... from what i remember hearing about it, there is a woman who fantasises about a man being desperate and humiliated and not being allowed to go to the toilet, resulting in a wetting.

[GregSmith85]

:D

I have no idea if it would work but:

I always thought that whilst the girlfriend would be sound asleep at night, one could put water on her pants and let her wake up soaking and find out her reaction. Do this a few nights and if she does not say anything or bring it to your attention, do it again one night and wake her up. When she says, Oh Know, I am so sorry, comfort her and say Do Not Worry, it was nice anyway :) and then see what happens.

I would have thought someone would have tried this or atleast thought about it but I have not seen it mentioned here.

Greg

[Val]

"Your best friend is somebody you can wet the bed with". She wasn't into it, just a hell of a lot of wine had gone in and come out that night!

[Ape]

:D

I have no idea if it would work but:

I always thought that whilst the girlfriend would be sound asleep at night, one could put water on her pants and let her wake up soaking and find out her reaction. Do this a few nights and if she does not say anything or bring it to your attention, do it again one night and wake her up. When she says, Oh Know, I am so sorry, comfort her and say Do Not Worry, it was nice anyway :) and then see what happens.

She dumps you for tricking her, as she was actually awake one night when you did it.

Oops, what a cock you are!

[bobbyjo]

what???? I agree with Ape
thats an absurd way to tell your girlfriend about your fetish. Even more absurd than mine.

so you sneak out of bed, she hears you no doubt... how do you bring the water back? on your hands? in a glass? IN A JUG????????

then you come back to the bed, and pour water all over her crotch????????

she wakes up no doubt.. ( as most girls probably would if you poured water over her crotch!!! ).. I would love , love , LOVE to know what your excuse is when she wakes to find you carefully pouring water over her crotch. "Oh, i thought you were the plant?" or would you pretend to really subtly spill it.

Alternatively, it could backfire if she already has the fetish, and when she has a little lick of her PJs, she says "hmmm...this doesn't taste as salty as usual".
Sorry.

[jduane]

I rarely post, but just had to say welcome to bobbyjo and find him to be hillarious.

John

[Indigo]

Sorry, Greg, but even if it weren't for all bobbyjo's practical objections, that one would be WAY beyond my ethical toleration limit.

[bobbyjo]

yeah, it is rather un-ethical isnt it hahahahaha...it sounds like a plot from The Twits... "and the next night, when he was sure Mrs Twit was sound asleep, he crept out of bed, and began filling the watering can again...." etc

[GregSmith85]

:roll:

you all knew bob was 'serious'

[bobbyjo]

how do you mean?

[~*~ k a t e ~*~]

:roll:

you all knew bob was 'serious'

Don't worry about it. There's always a handful of people who will take anything you say totally seriously, no matter how much sarcasm you lace it with, or how many pairs of self-falling-down trousers you dress it in.

[Ape]

alternatively....

your style just wasn't as funny as BobbyJo. He wrote it in such a way that it was an obvious spoof, an extreme version of reality. Yours just didn't have the same panache, Greg, and therefore wasn't instantly recognisable as humorous rather than real.

As Kate points out, it needs to have self-falling down trousers or sarcasm in there somewhere!

[bobbyjo]

sorry greg, my apologies..some people didnt realise mine was humour too.

Ape, how about...
"When she wakes up say, Oh No, I am so sorry, comfort her and say Do Not Worry, it was nice anyway - then let your trousers fall down" :wink:

[~*~ k a t e ~*~]

"When she wakes up say, Oh No, I am so sorry, comfort her and say Do Not Worry, it was nice anyway - then let your trousers fall down" :wink:

That's a technique grief counsellors been using for years: "I'm afraid your husband has died, would you like to smell the flower on my lapel?" *squirt*

[bobbyjo]

i don't get you, kate, but its probly cos i'm pissed...........or cos you're pissed

[GregSmith85]

lol, i guess I did not make mine as funny as bob did

[Magic]

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm back, nosying through the forums!! Sky, I will call you at the weekend :-)

[Spulch]

I'm hardly surprised that you're single!