Ideas for personal ads - Sky please comment

[~*~ k a t e ~*~]

Why has Rob's post not been deleted? I made a similar post a couple of weeks ago saying I would be in an area at a specific time, and it was deleted almost immediately by WT

I just took a look at WT's profile, and it's currently displaying "Last Activity: 24th October 2005 09:58 PM", so the short answer is, he hasn't seen this thread yet.


The moderators of this board need to show more consistency when deleting posts. Unless it is one rule for me and one rule for others

I totally agree. If you have a look at the very top "sticky" thread on the board, called "About 18+ adults only and other guidelines for posting", it outlines the current "rules" by which this board should be moderated. It's written by WT, but by the fact that Skymouse has allowed it to remain we can only assume he agrees. Apparently, if something is deemed a personal ad, then it has to go.

Maybe Sky can quickly clarify exactly what constitutes a personal ad, and why they have to be deleted, because I don't see anything particularly wrong with the above post? WT's rule list states that they have to go otherwise "the board will simply fill up with them", but I think that's a slightly over-zealous prediction.

[DavidEngland99]

Kate,

I totally agree with you - posting a request like this seems completely harmless, and if the board were ever in danger of filling up with such requests they could be moved to a separate section - like off-topic messages! We should be happy if a lot of people are trying to meet for pee fun!

G123 and Rob,

Why don't you two PM each other for a while and see if you like each other. Then you could decide to keep things digital, or move on to the analog phase of the relationship;)

At the risk of boring everyone by repeating it for the tenth time, I have had one meeting with a wet lady. It was a great meeting, but it came after we had got to know each other by emails, exchange of photographs, and some telephone calls. I am sure she would not have answered an "Anyone in xxxx" type ad!

David

[Val]

Why not an ads section? If necessary like the shop window, it stays for a week or two then out.

[WT]

[Edited by WT] I have retrieved the 3 commentary posts that were replies in this thread, so they now form the first 3 posts in this thread as the Board lists posts in chronological order.
[End of edit]

I just deleted the recent personal ad by Rob. Because it was the first post of the thread, that automatically removes all the replies, so the discussion has unavoidably gone too. To summarise, people are questioning the policy of deleting personal ads (and what constitutes a personal ad).

Kate explained that I had not been online and referred to the guidance. Although that has my name on it because I pulled together the posts, the source is previous posts by, messages from and discussions with Sky, who owns the Board. The problem is the Board getting full of ads at the expense of wetting posts, which are the proper subject. Believe me, if they were left here, the number would soon rapidly increase.

If Sky wanted to set up another Board for personal ads, he could have done so. He didn't adopt previous suggestions to set up new Boards for copies of stories (true and fictional) about wetting and something else that I can't remember, so in the absence of information to the contrary, I think we have to assume that he does not want to do so or that it is not a priority compared with, say, fixing his computer equipment and updating the paying member site.

Without a dedicated Board, I have a suggestion that would allow personal ads without cluttering up the Board. To be effective, they would need to be on this main Board that most people look at. So I suggest having a single thread that anyone could reply to to add their personal ad. That would be like and take up no more room than Word Association.

However, in this age of increasing government regulation, there may be legal reasons why Sky could not permit perdonal ads. What would be his liability if people met up as a result of an ad on his Board and something unpleasant happened?

Anyway, I have suggested a way forward and I invite Sky to reply here and say whether
He will set up a seperate Board for personal ads, or
It would be acceptable to have a single personal ad thread on this Board

If we receive Sky's permission, then any personal ads posted in a new thread on this Board would simply be moved to the personal ad Board or merged into the single approved thread, whichever approach is adopted.

What do people, particularly Sky, think?

Once the way forward has been settled, this thread can be moved to Off-topic.

[~*~ k a t e ~*~]

I just deleted the recent personal ad by Rob. Because it was the first post of the thread, that automatically removes all the replies, so the discussion has unavoidably gone too.

I take complete exception to that statement. It's not exactly truthful, is it? I have the same administration tools as you, and contrary to what you've boldly stated as fact, removing the "personal ad" while keeping the resulting discussion would have been extremely simple to acheive. The only conclusion I can reach is that you made the conscious decision to delete the entire thread because you personally didn't like the tone of the discussion.

The opinions of the people who contributed to that thread were valid and calmly stated, and there was no reason for their voices to be removed. In the post I made in that thread, I asked Sky to comment with clarification and suggestions on a solution to the personal-ad rule. You've now deleted my post and used your post to ask Sky essentially the very same question, but with a bit more pomp and circumstance. Do you see how easy it would be easy to mistake that for an attempt at "one-upmanship", paraphrased as "sorry, Kate, your post was unavoidably (read: purposefully) removed (by me), but not to worry, I'm here now to take control of the issue."?

[DavidEngland99]

WT,

I agree with Kate on this. When we end up with one moderator deleting posts from another moderator something is badly wrong. The essence of moderation is to do it lightly and sensitively.

David

[bspider]

Kate, WT: You two urgently need to talk.

Boris.

[Roger Ireland]

WT,

Your voice has been here for as long as I can remember and your contributions always read by me with interest but this time, even without knowing the complete technical abilities of a moderator, I have to agree with Kate's almost every word ! Kate, David England and myself and a couple of others I can't recall, all made replies to that thread in a genuine attempt to add our thoughts to the discussion. To delete those comments as well as the 'advert' that started the discussion was arbitrary at best and petulant at worst. Worse than that, the apparent attempt at upstaging Kate is not conducive to inspiring confidence in all of us lowly members when it comes to trusting the moderators ! bspider Is right on the spot ! You both need to talk !

Kate, I understand that your 'open' response to WT was because of the 'public' way it was done but this would all have been best discussed by you both 'behind the scenes' as I'm sure you could have done.

I would like to add a few thoughts to the general discussion about personal ads and the board but will wait a day or two to see if there is going to be a sensible discussion about it or whether this thread will deteriorate and lose the point.

Roger.

[WT]

I am fed up with people ascribing views and opinions to me that are not mine and I would ask people, particularly Kate who has recently done it 3 times, please to stop doing so. I will state my own views and opinions, thank you. [Edited by WT - the post concerned has now been edited to suggest (rather than ascribe directly) another motive that is not mine either - so my comment is still valid.]

I did not object at all to the replies in the thread and because of those views, I spent time, late at night, coming up with a helpful way forward.

Once I had deleted the top post, the thread was gone. What I stated is exactly the truth: whenyou do this the Board takes the other posts too. Because I was tired, I had forgotten that I could split the thread first. Had I remembered and done so, the other posts could have remained. Because I was tired and forgot, they didn't. Sorry.

Roger and Boris: I have no way of talking to Kate privately, only PM or e-mail. I only have contact details for Sky. As the post about me is here, I am afraid that I need to reply here, as I do not feel empowered to remove any post about me (unless illegal).

Can we please confine discussion to reviewing the suggested helpful way forward or making alternative helpul suggestions instead of attacking others? Thank you.

[DavidEngland99]

WT,

OK, I think there are several obvious ways forward. A special thread for adverts would be one way. Another might be to use the characteristics of this forum - unanswered posts sink like stones. As I said in my deleted post, meetings generally come from extended email discussions, not from the "Anyone in Glasgow" kind of ad.

If you are tired, I suggest you only delete something really gross or even paedophilic - the rest can wait till you have recovered from your hangover:p

Let's all relax a bit!

David

[~*~ k a t e ~*~]

Because I was tired, I had forgotten that I could split the thread first. Had I remembered and done so, the other posts could have remained. Because I was tired and forgot, they didn't.

Perhaps one productive way forward would be for you to refrain from attempting to moderate this forum whilst tired and forgetful. I apologise if I got the wrong end of the stick, but when I notice valid posts being deleted (here or anywhere else), my first thought doesn't tend to be "never mind, whoever did this was probably just suffering from amnesia brought on by fatigue".

[WT]

Thanks, David! :)

Your is a good suggestion and I wish I had adopted it. The reason I went to delete that post was because I had a specific complaint about it in my PM from someone else who's personal ad I had deleted. They were querying leaving one when I had deleted theirs and pointing out, correctly, that such treatment would be unfair. I had already explained in a PM to them that this was because I had not been on the Board. Having done that, I felt duty bound to do what I had committed to them. I do try to be fair and consistent in applying a set of rules which, in response to previous requests, I had pulled together from various guidance of Sky's so that they are, at least, open and transparent.

I appreciate that others prefer a 'light touch' which could mean not publicising what happens but I personally feel that it is only fair for people to understand what has happened to their posts, why and what they can do to avoid it in future.

I do not feel that choosing not to apply the rules or selectively applying them offer either a viable long term way forward or fairness.

We may disagree with the rules but, if we want the Board to continue so that we can all enjoy it, we have to comply with legal requirements and Sky's guidance as its owner. I am trying to be positive and guiding discussion towards those areas that are matters of opinion or where we might change things by persuasion, which gives a way forward instead of being a quick route to stalemate.

As for a drink, I wish! I had none last night, a couple on Tuesday and the last time I had a drink before that was more than a week ago. :(

[Edited by WT] This explanation also answers Kate's post that she was writing at the same time as I was writing this one. I thank her for her comments.

[WT]

I have worked out a way of retrieving the 3 commentary posts without the personal ad to which they were replies. They now form the first 3 posts in this thread, as the Board insists on showing them in chronological order.

To answer a point above, I can assure you that this was not 'simple'. It took some planning and use of 4 different functions in the right order. I think it would have been easier if I had done that before deleting the original post but, never having done that sequence before, I can't be certain of that.

Anyway, I hope that puts us back where I ideally wanted to go in the first place if I could have navigated the maze last night and sorry to anyone I upset along the way... :whoops:

[Grant]

I didn't mean my comments to cause an argument to break out over why the personal ad was deleted. I made a similar post a couple of weeks ago saying I would be in a specific place in England for a week and invited a meeting, but it was deleted, which is why I wanted Rob's ad to be deleted.

Perhaps there should be a personal ads section, but from my personal experiences of these in the past, nobody ever seems to reply. Maybe it's just me.

Grant.

[bobbyjo]

moderator arguments aside... Personal ads on wet sites very rarely work- i can#'t see it being a great idea unless the mouse is in favour of it.

Have you heard of Speed Dating - i don't know whether you've heard of that,, its where people meet up on a certain night, get together and talk to lots of other single people in a short space of time. Well, I have a similar idea which might work- bare with me .....

Peed Dating --- Every person turns up at a meet somewhere having wet their pants, so others can assess the wet patches to see who might make a suitable date.

[skymouse]

Thanks everybody for your thoughts and suggestions about personal ads. I will consider adding a separate section for this.

SM

[DavidEngland99]

Bobbyjo,

LOL 'Peed dating' would be absolutely great except that I have a horrible feeling that nobody would actually turn up!

I also tend to agree that posting a request for an immediate meeting is also not likely to work. Here is a suggestion that might work, but it would need a little bit of programming (WT?).

Anyone who wanted to could register their location (nearest town), sex, age, and sexual orientation at the WHP site. The software would select possible mates based on that information and PM both potential parties. They would then be able to communicate anonymously until they decided whether to swap names or their usual nicknames and/or meet. In this way, nobody who responded to this service need feel that their privacy was in any way compromised unless they decided to take the next step.

David

[WT]

Grant,

No way can you be responsible for how others react! :roll: Personally, I think your request for consistent treatment was perfectly fair and reasonable, as I said above. Anyway, thanks for your comments. :)

It has also generated some discussion that allows Sky to consider an extra feature for the site, which would potentially benefit those who would use it. I don't think lack of a response is down to you: like Bobbyjo, I frankly can't see their being many responses. The demographics of the site mean that there are likely to be many young male posts... with few young women willing to reply to them. However, nothing ventured, nothing gained and I wish you luck! :) Other sites that I have seen end up catering for the more... err... professional end of the market, if you know what I mean, and I fear that might drive people away more than my actions! :( Anyway, it's up to Sky now (as it should be)...

Now that Sky has agreed to consider the issue, I will move the thread to Suggestions for message board (more appropriate than Off-topic) as originally indicated.

Meanwhile, until and unless Sky agrees to personal ads being posted, I am very sorry, but I will continue to apply the site's policies consistently and I hope that others will do the same.

David,

Lest there be any doubt, I am a volunteer member, not associated with the site. I don't and haven't done programming for it. My only contribution is advice as a computer pro to Sky when horrible things afflict his computer equipment! :shock: :D

I think your suggestion is interesting and my university computer projet was a matching program using (then) innovative computer science matching techniques. However, I don't have time these days for the application that you suggest. Sorry! :whoops:

[DavidEngland99]

WT/Sky,

Maybe a wet matching facility something like I suggested could be a service people would pay for. They always say you should design a program before you write it, so maybe we should design the thing in this thread and then someone (not WT) could create it. Turn the problem of people posting personal ads into an opportunity to make money!

David

[Roger Ireland]

I have not been online for a few days and just caught up.

WT, apologies. from what you say it was clearly more thoughtlessness than petulance and I think we can all relate to that ! The whole thing just goes to show how most of the members here value the board and want it to stay as fair-minded as possible.

All of that behind us there is still some merit in having the ability (with the usual sensible controls) to make clear to other members if you wish to 'date' in whatever form that may be.

I think my original response to the deleted (restored but sanitised) thread was lost somewhere in the melee but I suggested that maybe one way would be to include an extra 'other info' box on the membership listing. David's suggestion of making a little more money from an advert page is not a bad idea though !

Roger

[WT]

Thanks, Roger. Sky provided no explanation when the new Board came in, so we have found out about facilities by trying them! :shock: I hadn't actually used the one that I would have needed in the required sequence before, which is probably part of the reason it did not occur to me at the time. While checking it out, I have found another one where I have always wondered 'how did Sky do that'! :)

I have had a good look for your missing post and it is neither in the waste bucket nor on the moderation queue. Theoretically, it shouldn't be possible for it to be anywhere other than those two or on a visible thread. So I am flummoxed where it fled to!? :confused: Maybe it's still hiding under the stairs - I wouldn't blame it - but I certainly did not try to delete it and the deletion that I did should not have led to it's being missing in action. Anyway, sorry and, if I ever notice it anywhere, I will bring it back!!! ;)

[skymouse]

Any more views about whether to add a new message board section called "Personals"? Anyone?

SM