He wants me to...

[switzer]

Hi, I am married and have known about hubby's wet panty fetish for a while, even done my best to "let go" for him a few times. As this isn't necessarily my thing, except by way of wanting him to get hot n bothered by me, I was hoping you may try to answer a few questions. If so, here they are.

1. Is it better if its an accident or does it matter?
2. If he can't get very hard or loses it totally during sex unless I'm wetting, does it mean he just isn't aroused by me anymore or is it common for guys into this to only be aroused by wetting?
3. How does it work in the bedroom regarding the mess. I'm OK with extra laundry but not a wet mattress.
4. If he looks at these pics everyday but doesn't necessarily masterbate everytime, what does it mean?
5. Ladies: how do you make yourself go while in bed (he really wants that, especially if I'm on riding him)? I at the least have to squat on the floor or sit on the loo in my panties...sometimes he wants to h old my crotch while I do it and I just freeze up.
6. Skirt or jeans...or is it a matter of personal preference.
7. I'm not as hot as I used to be. I see he looks at these hot wetting girls and I even think it's sexy when they do it, so how can he think I'm sexy when I do it? I look nothing like that.
8. He also likes me to wet adult diapers. Do I need to be concerned that we have a baby girl in diapers? I don't think so, but the thought crossed my mind.
9. If this is the only way he can get aroused, does he need help? If I can't make myself do it they way he wants, is my marriage over? He says no, but for those of you who've been there, isn't that what he thinks he's supposed to say?

I would really appreciate your help... I get turned on looking at the pics and vids too, I'm ust having a hard time performing.

Thanks

Teri

[distant_observer]

Teri,

I'm a male who also enjoys this fetish. Having been into this almost as long as I can remember, I can only answer for myself. I think everyone is different and responses will certainly vary between two people. Two things stand out in your post: First, the diaper issue and the association you've made regarding your child's safety (a most appropriate concern). This is an issue of utmost importance as children are sacred and absolutely off limits in any sexual context. For me, it is a woman who wets accidentally is what I enjoy. I take no pleasure in the bathroom habits of children. Secondly: I think your husband is a lucky man to be loved by someone willing to go so far to please him. On to the other questions...





1. Is it better if its an accident or does it matter?
A. An accident.

2. If he can't get very hard or loses it totally during sex unless I'm wetting, does it mean he just isn't aroused by me anymore or is it common for guys into this to only be aroused by wetting?
A. For me, I can become aroused by a number of fetishes. This is just the most consistent. There are many reasons for losing a hard on (not the least of which is heart disease). Maybe it is him that has the problem.

3. How does it work in the bedroom regarding the mess. I'm OK with extra laundry but not a wet mattress.
A. Use a shower curtain over the bed (under the sheets). A matress is unrepairable once damaged.

4. If he looks at these pics everyday but doesn't necessarily masterbate everytime, what does it mean?
A. I generally watch this board every day and don't masturbate every day. I'm not sure it means anything other than a consistent interest.

5. Ladies: how do you make yourself go while in bed (he really wants that, especially if I'm on riding him)? I at the least have to squat on the floor or sit on the loo in my panties...sometimes he wants to h old my crotch while I do it and I just freeze up.
A. I'm a male who can offer no credible perspective.

6. Skirt or jeans...or is it a matter of personal preference.
A. Personal preference.

7. I'm not as hot as I used to be. I see he looks at these hot wetting girls and I even think it's sexy when they do it, so how can he think I'm sexy when I do it? I look nothing like that.
A. As a man, I can appreciate the beauty of younger women. I would have a hard time enjoying their long term company however. Don't sell yourself short. Even though young fit women may please the man's eye, some of us are wise enough to know how good we have it. I would not trade what I have for fleeting youth. If you are female, you can always be hot regardless of your age or physical attributes. Hot is in your own mind. If you feel hot, we will too.

8. He also likes me to wet adult diapers. Do I need to be concerned that we have a baby girl in diapers? I don't think so, but the thought crossed my mind.
A. Answered above. This issue is too important for me to comment upon. You have to follow your own heart here.

9. If this is the only way he can get aroused, does he need help? If I can't make myself do it they way he wants, is my marriage over? He says no, but for those of you who've been there, isn't that what he thinks he's supposed to say?
A. I've been there. Sex (including this fetish) is a celebration of togetherness.

[switzer]

9. If this is the only way he can get aroused, does he need help? If I can't make myself do it they way he wants, is my marriage over? He says no, but for those of you who've been there, isn't that what he thinks he's supposed to say?
A. I've been there. Sex (including this fetish) is a celebration of togetherness.

Could you expand upon that? My feeling is once I myself an unable to arouse him our sex life is over. I know he can get that way looking at pics but when he comes to me after I really feel like something just to stick it in, KWIM?

[Lloyd]

Hi, Switzer,

I'm glad you asked us your opinion on these, but I'm afraid you will get as many opinions as respondents!! :)

1. Is it better if its an accident or does it matter?

Some people like accidents, some don't. It's a matter of if they want to see someone forced by circumstances to do something they don't want to do, or see someone enjoying doing something they shouldn't. I would think that the latter would be better for you if you think you might enjoy it, the former if you really don't want to. But you have to arrange for it to be an accident, then - not the easiest thing to do.

2. If he can't get very hard or loses it totally during sex unless I'm wetting, does it mean he just isn't aroused by me anymore or is it common for guys into this to only be aroused by wetting?

No, if a guy is into something specific, often he will need that to maintain an erection. Don't think it's you, as most guys just couldn't get an erection if they weren't interested in you in the first place. I think, though, that it becomes a problem if erections can only maintained as a result of wetting.

3. How does it work in the bedroom regarding the mess. I'm OK with extra laundry but not a wet mattress.

Just use plastic garbage bags, or even better, protective plastic or rubber sheets. They don't cost more than $100 Australian (US$70), and they last.

4. If he looks at these pics everyday but doesn't necessarily masterbate everytime, what does it mean?

It means he's just interested somedays, not really turned on. We don't have to get turned on by this sort of thing - it's actually for some an erotic lifestyle thing, and sex is certainly part of that, but not all.

6. Skirt or jeans...or is it a matter of personal preference.

Yep. And sometimes mood. Skirt if you want to imagine the panties getting wet, but not see them, just know they are, and jeans if you want to see the wetness spreading. If you are into pantie wetting, this is good too, as the panties get soaked under jeans, and it's good to imagine that too. Of course, both skirt and jeans are great when you take them off and reveal the soaked panties underneath.

7. I'm not as hot as I used to be. I see he looks at these hot wetting girls and I even think it's sexy when they do it, so how can he think I'm sexy when I do it? I look nothing like that.

Guys can look at one girl and get turned on by her, but not necessarily love her, if you know what I mean. And even then the turn on might not be the girl so much as the wetting. That's certainly a major part of it with me.

8. He also likes me to wet adult diapers. Do I need to be concerned that we have a baby girl in diapers? I don't think so, but the thought crossed my mind.

No, a guy into adult babies and adult girls in diapers isn't generally interested in kids, I would think. They are into the idea of a grown woman wearing and wetting diapers. It goes hand in hand with the idea of a grown woman wetting her pants. It's an erotic interest related to adult women, nothing more.

9. If this is the only way he can get aroused, does he need help? If I can't make myself do it they way he wants, is my marriage over? He says no, but for those of you who've been there, isn't that what he thinks he's supposed to say?

If he truly can't get aroused any other way, he probably should be a little worried. I know I find it a lot easier to be aroused by a girl deliberately wetting her pants than by the same girl dry, but I would still be aroused by the same girl wet or dry, if you get my drift. He may be different, but generally, I would say if he gets aroused by you, then he would do so more if you were to wet your pants. I know that doesn't exactly answer your question, but it's the best I can do.

I would really appreciate your help... I get turned on looking at the pics and vids too, I'm ust having a hard time performing.

Well I do hope I helped. If you get turned on by the pics, try deliberately wetting a pair of knickers under a pair of shorts while you are looking at them, and see how that feels. If you like it, you might find that you can get enjoyment out of it for yourself as well as him, and then do it more often for him, as well.

Cheers,
Lloyd.

[distant_observer]

Could you expand upon that? My feeling is once I myself an unable to arouse him our sex life is over. I know he can get that way looking at pics but when he comes to me after I really feel like something just to stick it in, KWIM?

Every person I know wants to be cherished and desired. Your man should be tuned in to your needs and feelings too. He should be making an effort to express your desirability. Tell him how you feel about being "something to stick it in." In an ideal world, you might both have a fetish the other is willing to indulge. It is up to both of you to arouse yourselves and each other. In my humble opinion, it is about sharing.

[iano38]

1. Is it better if its an accident or does it matter?
2. If he can't get very hard or loses it totally during sex unless I'm wetting, does it mean he just isn't aroused by me anymore or is it common for guys into this to only be aroused by wetting?
Teri

Hard to answer as all us men are different and I have found there are many variants on this fetish. In general, for question 1, the accidental aspect of a wetting underlines the act somehow, makes it real. Some men, however, just want to see urine flowing into clothes or whatever, regardless of whether it is by choice or accident. Not a good answer huh!

I can do better with 2. I have only just recovered from destroying a relationship by allowing a lifelong obsession with women peeing to take over completely. I did become almost totally dependent on urine for arousal. This did NOT mean that my partner was no longer attractive or exciting, just that I gradually came to see her more and more as a bladder on legs. She'd been happy to play, up to a point, even up to an extreme point. But one can push too far, you know! But this isn't about me, it is about you. What I'm getting to, is that if you think urine is becoming too dominant in the sex you have with your husband, please talk NOW and get counselling NOW, before it ruins everything. Once an obsession takes control absolutely there's a mountain to climb backing out again. You need to keep some control and say "no, today is not about wetting, I want.... CHOCOLATE!!" (for example). All things in moderation and balance. Keep control of the situation and be firm!!

[bspider]

7. I'm not as hot as I used to be. I see he looks at these hot wetting girls and I even think it's sexy when they do it, so how can he think I'm sexy when I do it? I look nothing like that.Mrs Boris is also 'not as young as she used to be' but I'm totally in love with her, with or without pee entering into the equation. This does not stop me from enjoying looking at pictures of pretty ladies - again, with or without pee entering into the equation. My wife knows this, sometimes chides me gently (or not so gently!) but we both know who I want to be with. If you know that he really loves you, and are secure in your relationship, don't be worried about a picture - it's YOU he's with. :)

Boris.

[switzer]

I would just like to say I appreciate the candor and support everyone on this board has given me, especially as a newbie.

I also would like to point out that I really can't imagine that my husband would EVER think of a child in a sexual way, I was just curious.

You know, what it really boils down to is that I would do anything for my husband, I love him so much. It's just really hard for me lately because even though I willingly participate in his fetish with no bad feelings, I still feel like I'm competing with it and coming up short.

Please continue to comment, your advice and insight is so very valuable to me.

Love,

T

[Adrian]

Firstly, hello and welcome.

With regard to your questions I'll try and answer them as truthfully as possible from within the limits of my own knowledge and experience.

1. Is it better if its an accident or does it matter? I think that depends on the individual.
Answer. Personally for me the woman who's desperate because she's not gone to the toilet when she should have (and therefore is responsible for her predicament) is a bigger turnon than one who's genuinely caught short through no fault of her own. That's only my view though. Your husband may think differently.

2. If he can't get very hard or loses it totally during sex unless I'm wetting, does it mean he just isn't aroused by me anymore or is it common for guys into this to only be aroused by wetting?
Answer. It could be that he's only aroused by wetting but that need not necessarily be the case. Problems with erections are common, particularly in men of middle age and over and, if you're worried about him it might be worth him taking medical advice - if only to reassure you.

3. How does it work in the bedroom regarding the mess. I'm OK with extra laundry but not a wet mattress.
Answer. I'd buy a mattress protector. If you're unsure as to where to get one your chemist (pharmacist) should be able to advise.

4. If he looks at these pics everyday but doesn't necessarily masterbate everytime, what does it mean?
Answer. That's quite normal. As a guy I can tell you that I don't always masturbate over everything I found a turnon. I'd be very sore indeed if I did. I'm sure your husband understands the wisdom in not playing with himself too much.

5. Ladies: how do you make yourself go while in bed (he really wants that, especially if I'm on riding him)? I at the least have to squat on the floor or sit on the loo in my panties...sometimes he wants to h old my crotch while I do it and I just freeze up.
Answer. I think it's important to bas relaxed as possible and give it time. If your bladder's full enough and you're desperate enough you should be able to wet the bed eventually.

6. Skirt or jeans...or is it a matter of personal preference.
Answer. It's a matter of personal preference. You'll have ask your husband.

7. I'm not as hot as I used to be. I see he looks at these hot wetting girls and I even think it's sexy when they do it, so how can he think I'm sexy when I do it? I look nothing like that.
Answer. You are who you are - a unique and special individual. I'm sure your husband understands that. Society has tended to glamourise artificially slim, overly attractive twenty somethings but people don't stay like that for ever, even if they were like it in the first place. We all have to move on in life.

8. He also likes me to wet adult diapers. Do I need to be concerned that we have a baby girl in diapers? I don't think so, but the thought crossed my mind.
9. If this is the only way he can get aroused, does he need help? If I can't make myself do it they way he wants, is my marriage over? He says no, but for those of you who've been there, isn't that what he thinks he's supposed to say?
Answer. I don't think that you need to have any reason for fearing your daughter's safety purely on the basis of that. A lot of men are into grown woman and other men in diapers but that's usually as far as it goes.

I hope these answers help.

[iPervious]

I rarely come here anymore any even more rarely post, but your post offered some intelligent questions, and I think I can offer some helpful answers.

1. Is it better if its an accident or does it matter?

Accident !! lol - to me at least

2. If he can't get very hard or loses it totally during sex unless I'm wetting, does it mean he just isn't aroused by me anymore or is it common for guys into this to only be aroused by wetting?

No to both questions. He may just be bored with your sex life, and needs some variation (whether it's wetting or something else) to wake things up.

3. How does it work in the bedroom regarding the mess. I'm OK with extra laundry but not a wet mattress.

You have to be willing to make a mess, and make it in the bed. Pee sex in the bathtub or shower is for newbies :Þ

I use a waterproof mattress cover, with a thick cotton mattress cover over that, and regular sheets over that. Despite the waterproof mattress cover, everything should look and feel like you're really peeing in bed.

4. If he looks at these pics everyday but doesn't necessarily masterbate everytime, what does it mean?

I look at pee pics and videos on the net almost every day, I rarely masterbate to them. It means he likes looking at them. Nothing more or less.

5. Ladies: how do you make yourself go while in bed (he really wants that, especially if I'm on riding him)? I at the least have to squat on the floor or sit on the loo in my panties...sometimes he wants to h old my crotch while I do it and I just freeze up.

I'm male, but still: if ya have to pee bad enough, you'll pee. :-) SO, lots of liquids, and consider caffiene and/or alcohol and/or diuretics.

6. Skirt or jeans...or is it a matter of personal preference.

Personal preference.

Skirts for me, as I have a (as yet) unfulfilled fantasy where my date pees her panties in a theater, pulling her skirt up around her wiast to keep it dry. When we leave, she lets it fall into place, and no one knows who the naughty girl was. :-)

7. I'm not as hot as I used to be. I see he looks at these hot wetting girls and I even think it's sexy when they do it, so how can he think I'm sexy when I do it? I look nothing like that.

Because you're YOU. Remember that it's you he fell for, not some girl in a video.

8. He also likes me to wet adult diapers. Do I need to be concerned that we have a baby girl in diapers? I don't think so, but the thought crossed my mind.

No, an interest in pee play, and an interest in children, are two completely different interests.

9(a) If this is the only way he can get aroused, does he need help?

I would think it means he, or perhaps the two of you as a couple, need counseling (or at least some changes in your sexual routine).

9(b) If I can't make myself do it they way he wants, is my marriage over?

Well, if it is, I think there's more going on here than the pee. Barring that, NO, it does not mean your marriage is over.

------

Having said all that, you are a unique woman, you are really trying to fulfill his needs, something I feel men and women should always try do for each other. In the unlikely event that the marriage does break up, I want your phone number (or at least your email) :Þ

[Lloyd]

Switzer, whatever you do, don't think that by trying his fetish you are competing with it. He will be grateful for the attempts, and you may find that you come to like it, anyway, so it won't be something you are just doing to try to measure up, so to speak. Just do it for the sake of it, and don't try to perform or "be good" at it, just do it for the fun. He will appreciate it more and so will you.

Lloyd.

[Adrian]

switzer, I would add to what Lloyd's said by saying that whether or not you stage a wetting for your husband or not is up to you. It's your call. Don't feel pressured into doing anything you're not happy or comfortable doing. As with other things it's certainly worth trying out if only to see how you get on with it. You may well enjoy it.

[Desperada]

I think your husband may be trying to take things too fast in introducing you to his fetish. You may find it easier to start out by just playing around--letting him watch/listen, doing it in the shower, etc.--and work your way up to the more hard-core stuff like wetting the bed. Take it at your own pace. If he really loves you, he won't pressure you on this. My husband knows of my interest but doesn't share it, and I've never tried to force it on him.

I can relate to your husband's problem, because sometimes I worry that I depend too much on my fetish(es) to "get me going," as it were. But needing the fantasy is one thing; needing to carry it out is quite another. I agree with those who have suggested that there may be some other (medical) problem. In other words, it's not that wetting is the only thing that turns him on; it's that he has begun to find it difficult to get or maintain an erection even when aroused, but wetting is *so* arousing for him that it can overcome that problem. However, there may be other ways to deal with the problem as well, so it may be worth your while to consult a doctor and/or a therapist.

[Anna78]

You should not be worried about yourself, your looks or your marriage at all. Most men have problems to stay hard from time to time. There may be various reasons, but one thing is for sure: it is not you.
Of couse, all men like to have a look at these young, slim, beautiful models. But do they want to be with them? NO!!! If your husband was invited for a date by one of these models, do you think he would go? NO. He would be too afraid. All these girls on the pics and in the vids are for imagination. Not for reality. Nothing to be worried about.
And no reason to be worried if he has a look at these pics every day. I do the same. Do I have to be worried? No. Does my boyfriend need to be worried? No. I just like to see young beautiful girls peeing their panties. Thats all. That does not mean I like girls or I love my bf less. I just like these pics. Thats it.
And for your question about peeing on top of him... You have to train yourself in private. You need to be able to let got a few drops everytime you want. If you are able to let go a bit while doing the laundry, during shopping, in the car... then you are ready to have a try on top of him. Do it as a surprise. This way you don't loose anything if you are not able to let go. If it works, fine. If not, he will never know yopu tried but failed.
But you always have to keep one thing in mind. You are more then most men here hope to find. You love your husband enough to pee for him. Most women would never ever do that. You think about how you can do it even better for him. This is more then most men dream about. And most men on this board would be willing to sell their gandma for a woman like you.

hugs & kisses
Anna

[switzer]

Anna and Desperada,

Thanks to you both for your input. It's usually difficult to get another woman's perspective on this.

If I can explain a bit about my insecurity:

It's not that I think he would actually go with a one of these hot women, it's that he prefers them to me. It's psychological I guess. I'm not afraid he'll leave me, or even cheat on me given the opportunity, it's that I'm not what he desires. So i feel really crappy about myself and guilty that he's stuck with me. Yet, resentful at the same time that I need to put on a show to get any affection. (sometimes I put on the show and don't get affection anyway.)

I don't mind doing it occasionally t the payoff can be great (it's the only time I get oral from him) but once in a while I would like him to be hot for me (me alone.. no performance) and feel like he desires ME, not any "tricks" I do, or a receptacle for him after he's been looking at other women doing "tricks."

The affection I get from him feels really shallow, and it's starting to wear on me. I guess I have bigger issues than whether or not I can pee on him. I just don't know how to go about fixing it without alienating him.

Thanks so much for your input.

[Anna78]

Well, the way you describe it, it really seems as if you have a bigger issue than whether or not you can pee on him.

But I know how you feel. I'm not what he desires anymore, too. My boyfriend's looking at these really young girls, almost 18, more skinny than just slim. I'm closer to 30 that to 20 now and put on a couple of pounds since we are together. And while we were more in bed than outside the bedroom during the first year of our relationship, sex is very rare by now. In fact, I have to care for myself. And putting on a show does not always work anymore. He'll soon be 40 and his desire for sex has almost vanished.

But I think that's just the way it is. There may be a few lucky couples who are able to keep the fire burning without any tricks. It is hard work. And it often seems as if it is up to the woman to keep the fire alive.

Well, I'd like to hear a male opinion about this. Does the desire automatically vanish when you become older? Is it laziness? Or boredom? Or do you just want us to feel unattractive so we loose self-confidence and don't run away with another man?

Anyway, switzer, I wish you all the best.

Anna

[Adrian]

switzer. Picking up on what Anna's said I would concur that this about rather more than whether you pee for your guy or not. I think you need to spend some quality time together (a holiday or extended weekend break) and talk through some of the issues and insecurities that you have. There must have been something that attracted you to one another to begin with and maybe it's time to try and rediscover what that was. It's impoerant that your husband loves and values you for who you are, not because you're prepared to perform for him once in a while. Of course it goes without saying that your love for him should be equally unconditional. I think it's important that you work together to try and establish what it is that you want from the relationship and decide on a way of moving forward. Most couples that survive long term have a relationship which evolves and changes with time and I think you'd be wise to accept that. It's one of life's tragedies that some men - and some women - are to ready to judge a book by its cover and not look deeper. That's the cause of much unhappiness. I hope things work out for you. Let us know how you get on.

[pppagain]

Hi, Switzer. I just started reading this thread. I agree with everything that others said, and wanted to add my two cents.

"The affection I get from him feels really shallow, and it's starting to wear on me. I guess I have bigger issues than whether or not I can pee on him. I just don't know how to go about fixing it without alienating him."

THAT'S the part that jumps out to me as closer to the core of the issue. More and better communication seems to be needed here, but is he one of those guys (and my husband leans towards this) for whom talking isn't a skill he's learned very well? Does he have a delicate ego? Other than accentuating the positive in a chat with him (and keep it light), I think some (possibly short term) counseling would be very helpful. If he didn't want to go, or if you didn't want even to mention it to him, you could go yourself. It would still be helpful. One thing to look at, for example, is why you're willing to be unhappy with shallow affection, just so as not to alienate him. It seems like the usual male-female dynamic of women putting others first at the expense of themselves. I struggle with this, too. In any case, you sound very nice, and I wish you well.